That’s what I wanted to scream at my podiatrist this morning when he rammed a needle full of cortisone into the joint below my big toe. Dr. Sadistic Bastard had the gall to tell me that I might not even feel this giant needle full of cortisone (and local anesthetic) because there was so much […]
Read more...Month: November 2008
fitness orb
Last night I bought an exercise ball to sit on at work, in lieu of a chair, just like Dwight. Thankfully for all my coworkers, there are dividers between our cubes, so I’m only knocking over my own shit. Thoughts so far: Pros, I can definitely feel something happening core-wise, and bouncing gives me a […]
Read more...you can’t walk around on fire and pretend that you’re not. if you’re on fire, scream out “i’m on fire.” my edges are falling awayI’m coming apart at the seamsand falling to pieces. you keep me tetheredand in focuswithout you here, I lose definitionblurry and smudged.
Read more...focus factor schadenfreude
You know those stories about old folks who, in a torrent of 3am bad judgment, order all manner of useless shit from infomercials? My coworker Laura also suffers from this disorder. Last night, Laura was feeling tired and unfocused and saw a commercial for a product called Focus Factor. They have a deal where you […]
Read more...like ya just don’t care
Be it strained vocal chords or a mosh-induced head wound, the best concerts are the ones that leave you injured. The injury I sustained at the Michael Franti concert might be one of my best—I pulled a muscle behind my elbow from too much fist pumping. Hotness. There’s something incredibly satisfying about rocking so hard […]
Read more...the beer
Typing these old journal entries has reminded me of what a huge pain in the ass it was to write an entry (nearly) every day when I was in England. There are some pages where my handwriting is barely legible and even less coherent, because I was delirious with exhaustion when I wrote them. Nevertheless, […]
Read more...pooch screwing, a letter to the rest of the United States
Dear Other 49 States, On behalf of the state of Kentucky, I would like to apologize for failing to accomplish the one task we were set with during this year’s election. Knowing that Kentucky would inevitably go red, the one valuable contribution we realistically could have made would be to oust that selfish country-music-loving lady, […]
Read more...“In my heart I know you didn’t come here just for me, you came here because you believe in what this country can be. In the face of war, you believe there can be peace. In the face of despair, you believe there can be hope. In the face of a politics that’s shut you […]
Read more...early and often
It’s a gorgeous day and I didn’t have to wait in line at all. I dropped my car off at the shop this morning and then walked 2 miles down the road to vote. The poll workers were super efficient, and I didn’t have to wait in line at all. Also, I got to vote […]
Read more...my head asplode
I feel like I’ve contracted ADD. Election-onset ADD. I’ve been obsessively checking polls and turning states different colors on various websites for the past week, and it’s stressing me out. Today I’ve been alternately reading the NY Times and unleashing a shitstorm of hate speech on the pompous jack-asses that populate this campus. Well, not […]
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